My Eyes Are Open
by Que'dBystander
Summary: Life is as it should be at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. Jackson is waiting on a bundle of joy. Callie and Arizona have attempted to reconcile their differences. But when a certain Harper comes to GSMH will everything continue to be copacetic? Can GSMH handle another voice of opinion. She's ambiguous, breathtaking, and used to getting her way. After all she is a Harper!
1. Welcome Wagon

Howdy folks! This is my very first fan fiction; ( although I've been writing it for sometime so the updates will be fairly quick) or shall I say published fic. Please bare with me. I'm overly eager to get you guys opinions on my work. I accept all criticism! However like my mother constantly stresses to me: "It isn't what you say, its how you say it." So please try and be respectful with your word and tone choice. You will be blocked. I am not a rude individual neither should you be. Its not mandated for you to read my fic's, but I welcome it and would gladly appreciate it if you did.

Now to the fun part! I know there's a summary but I'd love to give you a bit more insight on exactly what my story is about. I'm a huge grey's anatomy fan so it was only logical to start my first fic based of the Shonda Rhimes original. First and foremost the main character is not real. She does not exist in Shondaland (sadly), she is the sister of Jackson Avery. I remember reading spoilers about possible sibling appearances from the Harper/Avery clan and couldn't resist myself. Allison "Incredible" Harper optometrist extraordinaire is definitely one of a kind and you'll quickly see why. She may cause a bit of turmoil in the beginning between our infamous Calzona ( Fan since day one! ), but we all know who's destined to be and who's not. I've focused a lot on Murphy as well; even though it was apparent that her and Arizona were a tremendous mistake; I cant help but wish she'd gotten her happy ending. And let's just say Ally "Incredible" Harper just so happens to be in the wishing business…...

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy. Those props goes to Shonda Rhimes!

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><p>People, their everywhere. The slightly ragged gentlemen at the market manhandling the fruit without so much as a second thought to the mother with two children running amuck though the isles destroying everything in their path. Or the business man bum rushing pedestrians on the sidewalk; scurrying through early morning traffic praying he'll make it on time to his scheduled meeting starting in less then 15 minutes. Even the girl across the street at your favorite boutique; weighing the pros and cons of skipping out on grocery's this week just to fashion Kor's latest spring line of purses. As soon as you open your front door; you see these people. Subconsciously meeting. Some momentarily like the hasty messenger bee-lining though 8 a.m. traffic. But what happens when you meet that person? What makes this encounter different from the hundreds of faces you see everyday? What makes them different? Could it be that very moment in existence were your eyes greet and lock; filled with familiarity, understanding, and knowing… How could it though? The guy pulling his trash to the curb right when you leisurely walked past looked you square in the eye; only to be greeted with a meek smile one of no significance just candor. Allison Harper had a strong idea of what could cause such a strong connection almost instantaneously; Fate! Yet she had no idea when she awoke that morning just what Fate had in store for her.<p>

Some would call it chance encounters; but no not Allison Harper. She didn't believe in coincidences. Fate, now that held merit; and right then in that very moment fate was slapping her in the face like she'd passed out from dehydration and he was the imperative bottle of water to restore her. This woman… No this goddess stood distraught and alone wrestling with the Seattle winds and struggling to uphold a sleeping mini version of herself perched on her hip. Waiting for what, she didn't look sure. Disheveled brown eyes skimming the nearly empty parking lot. This woman looked every bit of complicated, something Allison really didn't need right now. She told herself to go; she was already late for her interview, and if her overbearing self-absorbed father had taught her anything it was that first impressions were crucial. Figuring her shot at a impeccable first impression was shot to hell, she discarded her now lukewarm coffee and brain into the nearest waste bin as she strolled over to the tired looking Latina. Mentally taking note of just how attractive the woman was Ally's eyes locked onto the beautiful brown ones watching her with confusion. Ally slowly approached her clearing her throat before preceding. "Hi need any help?"

Callie Torres was beyond exhausted. She hadn't slept much the night before due to Sofia's insensible fever leaving the toddler in fits. It'd been a long day being scheduled for back to back surgeries leaving the Latina feeling accomplished and drained. Looking forward to a night of wine, romantic novels, and lost of sex with her wife; those plans were quickly placed on the back burner with a text from Arizona just as she was existing the hospital. "Forgot I was on call tonight can you pick up Sof? Thanks babe I love you and sorry." Suffix it to say her morning hadn't gone well either; even though Sofia's fever had passed upon waking, she'd spent nearly two hours trying to coax her darling daughter into getting dressed. Spending another hour looking for keys she'd been sure she had laid by her bedside only to find them in the freezer. So here at 9:oo am she stood 30 minutes late for work and a very important board meeting. Because not only had her night been grueling and tiresome but the flat tire that was in front of her was yet another sign from the cosmic gods that today was just not her day.

Not wanting to rub off any of her bad juju on a complete and may she add absolutely stunning stranger, she quizzically looked around hoping to spot Karev or someone more deserving of said juju. With no luck, she peered at the stranger who had offered her assistance. "Ummm no its fine I've got it. I'm just waiting for a friend to you know fix this." Callie motioned to the depressed tire causing her vehicle to slant.

Not taking no for an answer Ally spoke up reassuring that she'd be more then happy to help. " Your tire, I can change it. Its not a problem honestly." Callie took in the woman's appearance, really looked at her. She was dressed in a gray button down blouse that remarkably resembled the owner's eyes and a black skirt that testified to just how much time this woman spent in the gym weekly. Callie drank in the brunette, admiring the well toned legs and freshly manicured toes in heels that in a different situation would've caused the Latina to stroke her hands longingly over the well firmed ass they carried.

A cleared throat brought her out of her daydream and up to a now intrigued brunette, dimples on full display. Callie couldn't stop the blush that followed from being caught ogling. "Really its no issue it'll take 15 minutes tops."

"Your not exactly dressed for the occasion." Callie supplied another once over to emphasize her point.

"I have an extra pair of scrubs in my car, its really no problem." Before she could refuse again Ally took her keys out of her hand, careful not to disturb the tiny angel cradled in her arms and headed for the trunk. Quickly pulling out the levy and jack she positioned the jack directly in behind the passenger tire before dropping on all fours. Callie couldn't help but gawk at the image in front of her confirming her earlier notions. "You know my mother always told me staring isn't polite but I'm certain I don't mind in this very moment." Blushing Callie looked away sheepishly, not sure if she was more embarrassed for getting caught or the fact that she'd been practically drooling. Going to the car and removing Sofia's day bag she waited patiently for the woman to finish.

"All done! See 15 minutes and no hassle. Cal- Calliope." Squinting at the badge that peeked a bit from Callie's left collar.

"Uh- thank you…..and its Callie. You really didn't have to do that. Is there something I can do for you? Pay you?" Callie began to rummage through her purse trying to balance the still sleeping Sofia in her arms.

"Do you eat?" Taken aback Callie's eyes widen slightly stammering for a moment unsure on how to respond. Ally smirked noting the Latina's shock to her question. Truly interested she once over Callie; whom oozed confidence, not this woman who looked bashful at an unintentional innuendo.

"Food? Do you eat food?" Relief filled Callie's face, realizing how flushed she may appear.

"Oh ummm I do. But I can't. I mean I'm flattered thank you I'm married." Callie averted eye contact for a moment wondering why she hadn't mentioned it when the woman had first approached her.

"Oh wow my apologies I didn't know, or rather I was too mesmerized to pay attention to the very large wedding band you have on your left hand. In plain view, wow I feel like an idiot." Ally dropped her gaze to the sleeping child. She should've known.

"It's fine, really honest mistake. Actually I'm so late I better go but thank you so much." The Latina retrieved her keys from Ally, who's fingers and gaze lingered a little longer then necessary. Scurrying away to drop off Sofia and salvage the rest of her morning; Callie's mind couldn't help but wonder back to the attractive brunette she'd encountered just minutes before. The fair skinned woman with the mountain of curls and captivating eyes intrigued her in the worst way. Callie had been sure she'd seen her before, no one would forget a face that beautiful. But where?

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><p>Is this love at first sight for Ally? She's definitely smitten with Callie. Is the feeling mutual? Allison is pretty Unforgettable…..I mean Incredible<p>

Please review id love to hear what you all think. Reviews equal updates.


	2. Big Speechs Ease the Mind

Hey everyone! I hope you like the fic so far. Like I stressed earlier this is my first fic, but I've been writing it for a little over 2 months and decided to publish it. ( My biggest fan and support suggested it. I love you sis! ) I didn't state it early on but I am open to idea from you guys about where you'd like this story to go. As well as if anyone would like to assist me in the writing of it. I'm open to any and everyone and this may be my baby; but I'm not opposed to sharing. I do have about 15 chapters already written but its never to late to rearrange a few things and add more drama. So feel free to drop a line in my inbox. I read everything!

Also this fic takes place right after episode 10x11. There are a few differences. Callie and Arizona did not move into a shiny new house. April never moved out, nor did her and Jackson get into a disagreement about their future kids religion. (I know that wasn't the essential reason for their dispute, but I don't like them fighting and I kind of dismissed it as soon as it happened. So I don't know too much on how or why that happened.) And for all my Crowen fans, Owen and Cristina are still together.

To clear this up. Allison's last name stems from her grandfather's first. I wanted her to have a semblance of a connection to the family without outright giving it away. She may be an Avery but she is definitely not proud of the title or its origin. A little family drama in the mix.

Hope you all enjoy my next installment.

Disclaimer: Once again I do not own Grey's Anatomy.

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><p>She's married? Ally quickly glanced at her watch 9:21 am, OK so she was late figures. Jackson was going to kill her. Rushing to her car she popped the trunk only to not find her scrubs, where she'd been positive she placed them the morning before. Grabbing her purse and closing her trunk she sped off to the entrance of the hospital in search for the nearest facilities.<p>

Callie rushed into the board meeting room trying to viciously to forget the woman from the parking lot. "Did I miss anything?" "She's late Jackson." Owen replies a matter of fact. "I know and I'm going to kill her. She's usually a stickler for time." Cristina peers over her laptop abruptly. "Is anyone else disturbed that he used the word stickler?" Waving off her insult Jackson glared intently at the door. As if by will she'd appear in the boardroom. She should be here by now; as much as he loved this woman she made it unbelievably hard.

On cue a beauty burst into the room clearly out of breathe. Scanning the room until her eyes landed on a certain Latina. It was the goddess from the parking lot. I'd been sure I'd run into her again, but not as quickly as this. I couldn't stop the rush of excitement that swelled at just the sight of her. "Calliope!" A full blown grin appeared showing just how captivating this woman really was.

Blushing Callie stood and extended her hand looking slightly nervous. "Its Callie really… I didn't catch your name earlier." Callie peers at her questioning wife.

"I like Calliope, it suits you…and its Ally, well Allison Harper." Ally couldn't help but notice how the Latina's eyes flashed at her remark. Remembering there were other people in the room I quickly offered my hand to the attractive blonde glaring at me. Yes I knew I was late nearly forty-five minutes but there was no need for this woman to be giving me the death stare.

Jackson immediately stepped in, introducing everyone directly. "This is Allison Incredible Harper." Jackson was beaming at the nickname given to his sister; remembering exactly how she warranted it. I side step in front of my brother, making sure to nudge him in the process. "And yes the name does exceed its meaning."

"She's charming." Meredith smiles.

"I'm so terribly sorry I'm late. I ran into a damsel in distress on my way in with a flat. Glancing at Callie. I hit on her found out she was a married damsel in distress and now possibly my potential boss, and I don't know if I'm embarrassed or relieved."

Owen looked quizzically at Ally. "Relieved?" "Well she offered payment for my services, I suggested dinner hence how I found out she was married. So she still owes me." Cristina snorts looking from Callie to Arizona. Silence engulfs the room as Ally gazed at Callie as if she was the only one in the room.

Sensing the growing tension Derek decided to step in. "Please have a seat. We have to start rounds soon your timing is perfect Ms. Harper." Jackson takes his place perched against the door throwing behave yourself daggers at his baby sister. Not wanting her to risk getting on anyone's bad side before she even gets the job.

Owen clears his throat directing his attention to Ally. "Your resume is quite extensive, really impressive. However my main concern is why such short residency's. Were there issues at your last three hospitals? You moved quite a bit within a 2 year period."

Ally glances at Jackson who's looking at her expectantly like all the others. He mouths for her to relax and just be herself. "Chief Hunt if I may side track for a moment…."

Owen nods his head encouraging her to continue.

"Your ophthalmologist department has been down played here at GSMH. Which I find a little insulting because I believe the eyes are the most important part of the human body." I'm interrupted by Cristina who looks all about done with this interview. "That's a mouthful don't you think?" Ally and Cristina stare down last all of five minutes before she gets up and places her chair in front of Cristina's.

"Dr. Yang this may seem odd but humor me for a moment. Can you look at me? In my eyes?" My gaze has not wavered and Cristina continues not phased by the sudden change in events. "Did you know that the human eye is the most receptive part of the body containing more the 40,000 nerves?" I wait patiently for Dr. Yang to acknowledge my statement. She nods and I continue.

"However I don't weigh its importance on science. You see my mother always told me you can read a person just by looking into their eyes. Their illuminating moments of laughter, complete and total happiness; and instances of turmoil. You can see the hearts they've broken, the hearts they've loved, and the hearts the will love. But once again that holds no importance. Its not the entire picture; not even the bigger picture. Because if you look….. And I mean really look into someone's eyes you see so much more then that. You see them, their life. Their story and its better then any book you could ever imagine to read. No one's story is the same Dr. Yang. Every pair of eyes tells it differently."

The silence in the room is deafening. I haven't broken eye contact from Cristina intent on proving my point. No one questions the importance of my job. No one. I'm pretty sure I've just blown the socks off of everyone in the room, because Dr. Yang is starting at me like I've discovered a cure for cancer; a new found respect moving between us. I chance a look around the room only to be greeted with a dazzling smile from my brother, one of blatant pride. Chief Hunt is nodding in approval and I'm sure everyone else is on board by the smile radiating around the table. Even Dr. Robbins has softened her features displaying two dimpled cheeks. I know I have the job before I even exit the conference room. Walking through the halls I cant help but think how much fun ill be having here at GSMH. This place reeks of hope and infinite possibilities and for once I feel as if I have my work cut out for me. I just hope Jackson has prepared GSMH for one Allison Harper.

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><p>So how are we feeling about this chapter? What are you guys opinion of Allison? Too much too soon? I also want to clear up that Allison is not a home wrecker. She has been flirting shamelessly with Callie but she knows her boundary's. She's overly confident and a bit sure of herself. But in no way is she full of herself. Her character is suppose resemble Mark in a way. At least with her confidence. I hope you all see it. Let me know what you lovely people think seriously. I live to write but I survive for your reviews. So drop some lines. I'd love to feed off of some great ideas and I always give credit where its due. Til next time! J<p> 


	3. Running Away and Into

So how's everyone liking the fic thus far? I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I do writing it. Here goes a little brother and sister interacting/bonding!

A/N also if there are any beta readers out there who would like to lend me their help I'd appreciate it tons. The story's still a work in progress.

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's!

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><p>"Allison!" I practically ran through Plastics trying avoid my brother at all costs. Every since my arrival two weeks ago to Seattle he'd been bombarding me with questions as to why I was there.<p>

"I have a consult. Can't talk right now Jack. Lunch?" I threw a "sorry" over my shoulder before stepping on to the elevator. I wasn't above lying especially to my relentlessly noisy brother. I knew I'd have to explain myself eventually, but I wasn't ready and frankly neither was he.

Before the doors could close completely a rather aggravated and flustered resident entered. "Dr. Edwards."

"Dr. Harper. Good morning." Stephanie looked up from the array of charts she held.

I surveyed the woman in front of me. The woman my brother had so heedlessly abandoned at his wife's wedding. I felt for her, really felt for her. I knew exactly what it was like to have your heart ripped out and butchered. Yet that didn't compare to what my brother had did, publicly humiliating this woman in front of her friends and colleagues; not one of his finest moments in life if you ask me. "You know for what it's worth. I think my brother is a complete asshole for how he ended things between you two."

Shocked propelled from Steph's face. Turning she stares at me skeptically her mouth slightly open. "With all due respect Dr. Harper. Its water under the bridge. And honestly you're the last person I should be talking about this with."

My laugh could be heard I'm sure two floors up. "I'm not going to fire you or anything, if you choose to speak ill about my brother to me. I don't have that power and trust me I've shared a few choice words with him after I heard about what happened. I'd been looking forward to meeting you. Especially after my mother's all to distinct description of you." She altered her gaze momentarily, a deep flush rising from her neck. "Listen I wanted to let you know it wasn't right what he did. I know that, you know that. I didn't agree with it at all. More importantly I don't want that to effect our relationship. You're a good doctor Edwards and from what I can an even better friend. Don't let my overly narcissistic brother ruin you."

"Narcissistic?" Her smile beamed brighter then I'd ever seen.

"Ok self-loving." I rolled my eyes and held up imaginary quotations. "I mean the guy doesn't eat leftovers. You can't get more high and mighty then that." The elevators doors ding announcing my stop. Giving her one of my trademark winks I side step out of the elevator. "You have a wonderful day Dr. Edwards and I look forward to working with you." With that the doors close to a brighter and cheesing Stephanie. Ok, so I admit I was a bit hard on my brother but he kind of left his girlfriend/date at a wedding and ran off with the bride, he really didn't have much room to scrutinize.

I head for the my office hell bent on getting my things so I could leave the hospital before my brother had time to put a man hunt out for me. Like I said the guy was relentless, I'd have to see him at home eventually. Seeing as I'd arrived at Seattle on such short notice; I still didn't have a place to stay and I'd been crashing at my brother's. Glancing at my Varonchan and Constantine vintage watch given to me by my grandfather once I'd graduated med school; I figure I had about ten minutes before Jackson realized I was completely full of it and came barreling through my office doors. I took a sharp left and didn't see nor expect to run full force into an nearly out of breathe resident. The impact was forceful and I had to brace my self on the nearest gurney to stop from toppling over.

"Ugh! Ow ow ow ow!" Regaining my heart rate back to normal I peer over to the clearly in pain resident laying on the floor. Her blaring pager inches away from her.

"Maybe you shouldn't be running through the halls like roadrunner. At least he beeps to let you know to clear out."

Rolling over the resident eyes me evilly. Getting up and clutching her back to apply pressure to the sore muscle she adjusts her wrinkled blue scrub top. "Maybe you should get out of the way when someone's being paged 911. This is a hospital."

I was surprised at the sheer boldness of this woman. Sure I wasn't sporting my lab coat or scrubs but even in my civilian clothes people didn't tend to address me with such attitude and dismissal. The continuous ringing of her pager broke our stare down. Sighing I walk over and pick up her pager handing it to her but not before noting just how attractive the mouthy and beautiful blonde really was. Annoyance poured from her gaze and to my out stretched hand, her eyes flickering momentarily to my badge I perched along my belt loop.

"Dr. Harr… Harper." A second passes before her eyes damn near bulge from their sockets. If I hadn't just had the breathe knocked from me I would've laughed. "Dr. Harper as in new Head of Ophthalmology, as in relation to Dr. Avery, as in relation to Harper Avery?"

"Yes new Head of Ophthalmology. As for Jackson I claim him sparingly." I cant help but smile at her clearly stammered appearance. "You know I could probably page Ortho and have Dr. Torres come and remove your foot from your ass." I smile at my own candor, this resident was sweating bricks.

"I didn't know. You weren't wearing…. I mean I'm sorry." The chiming of her pager ended her stuttered apology.

"Leah let's go!" Dr. Wilson who I knew to be Alex Karev girlfriend ran by her bucking it for the stairs.

Grinning I adjust myself relishing in the pure discomfort of this resident. "You should probably go Leah. Looks like there's an emergency you need to tend to; after all this is a hospital." She gives me a weak smile before heading once again in a full out sprint to the stairs. I didn't know who this Leah woman was but I had every intention on finding out as soon as possible.

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><p>So she's finally met Leah Murphy. Kind of rude encounter don't you think? Was she flirting? Did it seem that way to you guys? Let me know what you guys think. RR please<p> 


	4. Truth is Blinding

Hey guys! I hope your enjoying the story thus far. I just wanted to throw a few things out there as well. Allison Harper is suppose to resemble a female version of McSteamy. I always adored Mark's character especially with Callie's and I felt like in this fic that if she were to have a "wondering eye" it wouldn't be for just anyone. Unlike Arizona, I know this might be dangerous in the aspect of their relationship. But please remember at the end of the day I will forever be team CALZONA!

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><p>"Wait so your telling me that my brother; a grown man might I add, can't go out tonight because your wife told you no." Lifting a well sculpted eyebrow Allison couldn't stop the condescending smirk that crossed her face.<p>

She'd been trying to talk Jackson into going to Joe's with her since he'd gotten home from work. Easily deterring the topic when he questioned her about the imaginary consult she'd had earlier that afternoon; by asking about a certain bar she'd heard that much of the staff frequented regularly. She had preceded to go home after her near death encounter with the rather rude and flustered resident plotting how and when the next time she would see her; and she figured that was her best bet.

Jackson walked further into the dining area, being sure to set three plates instead of the normal two while he turned and glared at his teasing sister. "No my wife didn't say I couldn't go. Just that she would prefer if I stayed home tonight. I'm not going out of respect Allison. You know something you should have in a marriage."

Slowly walking over to Jackson Allison surveyed him head to toe. Placing the back of her hand on his forehead her face etched with concern. Trying to dodge her movements Jackson backed up a few paces before staring at her as if she had three heads. "What are you doing?"

"I'm just checking your temperature. You know since your MOTHER'S not here to do it." Allison couldn't hold in the laugh that had slowly bubbled from her chest.

Her brother had definitely become a softy. She'd never seen Jackson so considerate in any relationship. Actually if she was honest she'd never seen her brother take a relationship seriously let alone to see him married. Growing up Jackson had always been so focused on his studies and excelling in life. The one serious relationship he had been in had been many years ago and had nearly cost him everything he'd worked for. But here now Jackson had this aura of pure joy and happiness whenever April Kepner was even mentioned.

"Look… How about we invite her tonight. You guys should definitely be getting to know one another. I mean you guys are practically sisters. So how about a bit of bonding. You know for your unborn niece or nephew's sake…" Jackson visibly brightened at the idea. "Come on it'll be fine." He turned throwing his million dollar smile at his sister.

"So you want me to bond with your pregnant wife over jager bombs and ginger ale?" Before Jackson could answer the front door opened, signaling the arrival of a very tired yet perky redhead. It amazed Allison how after a near eighteen hour shift April could still have a bounce in step as if she'd just downed an infinite supply of energy drinks.

"Hey babe! Your home!" Jackson absentmindedly swooped his wife up in an one arm hug. Forgetting entirely about his sister's presence and their conversation from moments before. "Hi baby! I missed you!" Leaning down he captured her in a smoldering kiss. Making things all too awkward for the brunette standing less then two feet. "Mhmm I missed you too." April eye's glazed over half due to the emotional haze she was in and the lingering of her husbands full lips on hers.

'You arrived just in time April, I was actually trying to talk my brother into taking me out tonight." Jackson broke his gaze with his wife and stood open mouthed to his sister. Ignoring him altogether she continued while taking the plates from the table and piled them intently. "I've been here for two weeks and I have no friends. I'd like to get out and there's so much I'd like to talk to Jackson about. I've missed him terribly and it'd be nice to catch up."

I could since the hesitancy in April's posture. Normally I wouldn't press an issue like this, but I'd been dying to spend sometime with my brother. Sure we saw each other everyday at work and home, but that was normally in passing. My big boy brother had a baby on the way and a hospital to run; which didn't exactly allow time to spend bonding with his no life sister. Plus there was so much I needed to tell him, things I had no idea how to even bring up. I needed to be comfortable with him again, to develop that relationship we'd perfected so many years ago. I needed my brother and I figured an atmosphere with lots of booze would ease the bomb I was going to drop on him when the time was right.

"Ummm I was actually looking for to a night of relaxation maybe a movie or two. But if its important to you and Jackson wants to go. Its fine I can find something to occupy my time." April slumps her shoulders before tiredly walking to her designated chair at the table.

Jackson immediately furrows his brow to me. I knew he wasn't happy about me bringing up a conversation he'd already in his mind dismissed, but this was important. Sighing I couldn't push away the feeling of guilt for trying to make my brother abandon his wife. This woman was putting on the full emotional front. Pregnant women and their damn emotional tirades. Walking over to the chair to the left of April I tentatively glance at her before seating.

"You guys can still do the movie night. I'd just like to go out for a drink or two. We wont be gone long, an hour tops. Then you have your husband back I promise."

Jackson takes the seat across from April picking up the hand she had gracefully laying on the table. "Baby if you don't want me to go, I wont. I would love to stay and spend time with my breath taking wife and my little guy."

"Kiss ass!" I feinted choking on my food to avoid the angry eyes staring at me. "I'm sorry excuse me. Had a hard time swallowing that. I mean my food." I grab my glass of water for good measure.

"No you should go. She is your sister and we've all had a hard week. If I wasn't so pregnant I would join you two. Just could you pick me up so rocky road ice cream on the way home I ran out last night and this baby love the stuff." Patting her husband hand affectionately April picks up her fork and continues eating. The rest of dinner going by smoothly with talk of work and plans on how the nursery would be decorated.

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><p>Entering Joe's I felt a sense of nostalgia. Back in Boston I'd frequented a bar that resembled this one quite a bit. Its patrons mainly doctors or nurses from the hospital a few feet away. It had this homey yet dungeon feel, you couldn't help but feel relax upon entering with is mellow music rippling through the air. It wasn't exactly busy seeing as it was the middle of the week, but I could definitely see this place booming on a Friday night or during some major sports event. Jackson waves to a few doctors whom I didn't recognize before motioning me to follow him to a isolated table near the bar.<p>

"One drink. That's all your getting out of me Ally."

"How about one drink and a shot? You can handle a measly old shot right?"

"Don't patronize me! I told you to drop the subject and you were adamant on it and completely out of line for putting April in that position. Your lucky I'm even here and that my wife is a hell of a lot more understanding then I am."

Rolling my eyes at Jack's obvious exaggeration of events I scan the bar. Counting every head that entered and exited, a habit I'd recently taken upon. "Oh get over it. She was fine Jackson. Your wife gave you the green light, so your not getting put in time out or having to clean the blackboard. So relax please. If your going to have a stick up your ass, you might as well go home. I can be depressed by myself thank you."

"Whatever Allison. Just try not to put me in that situation again. April's been like a ticking time bomb lately and if I don't have to rock the boat I wont."

"She's pregnant and hormonal Jackson. She doesn't need any help rocking the boat. I mean for Pete sake she cried yesterday because her shoe came untied. Her shoe Jackson!" Standing up I turn to head to the bar to pick up my much needed shots. If Jackson wasn't getting plastered tonight I surely was. I'd call a cab or something later if I needed to. I needed this, I needed at least one night of peaceful sleep. Something I hadn't had in three months, one week, and two days.

Once I get to the bar I can't help but notice one Dr. Torres sitting in the corner lost in her thoughts. She hadn't even notice me walk up and I didn't want to bother her. She seemed in deep thought or rather deep contemplation about something and interruption didn't seem welcomed. Getting the attention of the bartender I ask for a few shots of tequila, a beer, and a glass of red wine. Glancing back over to Callie I wondered what was on her mind. She seemed conflicted in a way, completely different from the glowing Calliope I'd encountered at work a few times.

"Hey what's the brunette drinking over there?"

The handsome bartender follows my gaze and smiles wearily. "Jack and coke, her second one. I'd say she's had a hard night."

Asking for a pen and a napkin I write a note on a it before placing it back on the bar. "Send her another one on me, along with this." I state before retreating back to my table.

"Are all those for you?" Jackson eyed my tray skeptically.

"Well no the beer is for you." I sit the tray in front of him downing two shots myself before I even sit.

Jackson's face immediately softens. "Al you ok? I know its been a long week, but judging by the alcohol poisoning your about to ensue on yourself I'd say its more to it." Instinctively he places his arm around my shoulder.

Shrugging it off I down another shot before looking at him. This isn't how I wanted this to happen. I needed to talk to him, to tell him things I wasn't even sure I was ready to voice. But I certainly didn't need my brother looking at me like I'd just been diagnosed with untreatable cancer. I couldn't do this now, not with the pity party he was already giving me over a few shots. "Nothing Jackson. I'm fine just a lot on my mind. I'm working through it."

"Does this have anything to do with why you just showed up and moved your life to Seattle?" He sat back surveying me, waiting for my actions to give some type of answer.

I can't hold his gaze so I distract my attention else where.

"Come on Allison. The last time we spoke everything was great with you. Your private practice was doing well. You were in a relationship for nearly a year with that lawyer LeAnn I think and getting ready to move in together. You'd just purchased a home. You were making strides medically. You seemed content and dare I say it happy. So what changed." He leans forward his eyes begging me to give him some type of clue.

"Things changed Jackson and I can't tell you when or how. I'm not ready for that yet. But I realized I wasn't happy. I was scared out of my mind and I needed a new start. I was sinking into a pit of complete self-loathe and despondency. I couldn't even bother to get out of bed half the time. I didn't like the person I had become. So I left."

"You ran away? That's all I'm hearing Allison. And frankly I think it was rather immature and selfish of you. You had built a life, a name for yourself and you dropped it in a whim because things weren't going your way? That's an excuse and you know it!"

I couldn't stop my eyes from welling with tears. This was not going well, this conversation was taking a turn for the worst. I wanted to tell him so bad. I wanted to tell him everything, that my life had become a complete nightmare. I couldn't breathe in my own home. If I even thought about stepping a foot outside my door I'd break out in a severe panic attack; eventually losing consciousness from the contradicting yet overwhelming feeling of entrapment and too much space. How I hadn't slept for months because the thought of closing my eyes left me too vulnerable and in my dreams I couldn't contain or control my fear. How when I finally did leave my home my constant paranoia would engulf my entire mind, halting any attempt to precede through my day like I normally would've. I no longer felt safe not even in my own practice. I hadn't performed a surgery in over two months and my colleagues were starting to question my mindset. I felt so trapped in my own terrors, my life. I couldn't tell him this. I couldn't tell him what had crushed the woman he once admired.

Exhaling in frustration Jackson stands up gathering his coat.

"Where are you going?" Panic crept into my voice. I glance around the bar once more, familiarizing myself with the faces for the umpteenth time.

"I'm going home. To my wife who will actually talk to me. You wanted to catch up, but so far all you've been doing is avoiding my questions. You've made it more then obvious your not ready to spill whatever caused you to change everything in your life so drastically. So when your ready to give me an answer and I mean a real explanation; not the vague bullshit you've been feeding me all night, you no where to find me." With that he storms out of the bar without so much as a second glance.

I don't bother following him. I needed to wallow in my thoughts for a bit. Its not that I didn't want to tell him. Hell I wish I didn't know, but knowing and speaking about it were two different things. My mind promptly recalled my last night in Boston.

* * *

><p>(FB)<p>

Glass shattered everywhere but I was oblivious to it. All I could see was the angry woman pacing back and forth through my foyer.

"So you have nothing to say?! NOTHING?! Dammit Allison for once I wish you'd react to something. Yell at me, scream, hell hit me if you have to. Just respond to me please. I'm begging you!"

I stared at the hurt searing through green eyes. How could I be so unresponsive to her. I loved her I knew that but my mind was far too gone to even comprehend it; I wasn't the same woman and here I was leaving everything behind including her because I couldn't handle my continual fear of just being here.

My tone was even without a flinch of emotion. I casually walked over to the broom and dust pan trying to pick up the shards of glass. "I don't have anything to say LeAnn. I'm leaving. The movers will be here by noon tomorrow to pick up my clothes, the rest you can have it all I don't care."

"So that's it? No answer to where your going? No way of contacting you? Just wiped completely from your life. Your just leaving without so much as an explanation? You don't think I deserve that? To know why the woman I've built my life around for nearly a year just wakes up one day and decides to hell with everything and that I wasn't worth it? A year Allison. A FUCKING YEAR!" LeAnn's hands were clenched tightly, I could see the rage rolling from her in waves. Waves that didn't faze me in the slightest. For anyone who knew LeAnn the woman was a cut throat lawyer always winning the stand with her unedited and truthful convictions; she had a way of making anyone cower under her gaze. But not this time.

"There's nothing to tell." I look around our newly bought home. The home we'd planned to spend our lives in, build a family, sustain love and support for one another. The home that was suppose to represent our next step in commitment. I looked at our new home and that wasn't what I saw, and I felt nothing.

I glance back over to the woman who's heart I was breaking to its very core and still I felt nothing. Actually I was lying I did feel something; complete and utter numbness. Even in this moment LeAnn still looked as beautiful as the day I met her. Her loose golden curls framing her face perfectly. It hadn't always been like this; even though it felt like centuries ago I do remember a time were I had been blindly in awe of LeAnn. How a mere smile would send a rush of goose bumps up my entire body causing my heart to swell as well. However now gazing at her I felt none of that. I didn't feel anything. He'd taken that away from me and now she had to suffer the repercussions.

We stood there in silence for quiet some time. LeAnn hoping that by some miracle I'd gather her in my arms and tell her how deeply sorry I was. That none of this was a reflection of her or our relationship. That the last year hadn't been a lie. Instead I pick up the small box of little nic nac's that I'd plan on taking with me and headed for the door.

"I still love you Lil."

I stop dead in my tracks. I may be numb inside but my heart still felt the resignation in her voice. "Me too." I was gone before another word could be exchanged. Off to a new life. A new start. One without memories of the things I had lost or rather blatantly given up. A life without a haunted face that had taken everything away from me. A life were my mind could finally have peace.

* * *

><p>I shake from my thoughts, so much for having a night of quiescence. I scan the bar one last time before downing the rest of my wine and my last two shots, figuring it was about time for me to call it a night. Heading to the bar to pay my bill I feel a pair of eyes on me. Looking over to the far side of the bar I make eye contact with Callie a genuine smile playing at her lips. Waving the napkin at me she mouths a silent "thank you". I nod my head and shrug my shoulders trying to display my nonchalant response. I felt better already, at least I'd been able to brighten somebody else's night if not slightly. I wink at the bartender before heading for the exist. Remembering what I'd wrote on the napkin to Calliope, a smile appears unconsciously. "Smile. It looks good on you."<p> 


	5. Emotions are High

The three cups of coffee I managed to down before 10 am did nothing for my groggy and slight sluggish state this morning. It was well past noon and I still felt the shots from last night swirling in the pit of stomach. I'd just finished my follow up with my cataract patient and had every intention of sneaking into an on call room with a banana bag and an IV when I spotted Dr. Torres sneering at a resident. Leah Murphy, the same resident whom I recognized ran into me yesterday in the hall way. I stopped mid stride because the resident didn't seem the least bit afraid of the clearly angry doctor, she only returned in stock posture.

"I asked for these charts to be completed before noon Murphy. What have you been doing? I certainly hope not sitting on your ass." Callie gritted her teeth to withhold the slap I'm sure she wanted to back lash on the blonde.

"No I wasn't Dr. Torres." Leah stated coolly. "I scrubbed in with Dr. Grey on an emergency appendectomy. I figured that was more important then some charts you could have easily gotten an intern to fill out." Leah stood her ground hands clenched not fazed a bit by the fury Latina.

An intrigued smile played on my lips at the two. It was more then evident neither liked each other, but I had a feeling it was due more to personal issues then work related. I noticed the crowd that seem to slowly gather and figured it'd be best to end things before they came to blows. Changing my direction altogether I head for the two hot headed women, both equally beautiful in their own way.

"Dr. Torres I think your wife is looking for you. I saw her scrubbing out of surgery about ten minutes ago. Said it was important." Both women turn to me abruptly. Callie's glare lapsed when she looked at me.

"Ummm thanks Dr. Harper." Handing the charts to the closest nurse she scowled at Leah before backing away from the nurses station.

"Actually Callie if you'd like I can finish those charts for you. I was just heading to your floor anyways. Stopping to see Adam. Got to admit the guys pretty awesome and he's been raving about a certain ortho doc who saved his life. Figured I'd do a follow as well when I get there. I could let you know how that goes." I smile for extra measure. I liked how Calliope's mood always brightened whenever I was around. I could see something there, her eyes sparkling when ever I gave her my signature smirk. The woman was really something.

"Thank you Dr. Harper, there's no need. I'll stop by Mr. Rover's before I head home. Maybe I'll see you there?" The question hung in the air as she turned and headed to her wife.

I would definitely be seeing one Dr. Torres in room 510 later. I glanced back over to Dr. Murphy who rolled her eyes at me before stalking off in the opposite direction. "Hey Murphy wait up!" I break out in a run to catch up to the speeding resident.

"How can I help you Dr. Harper?" Her tone was tight and I could see she was still seething from her earlier discussion with Callie.

"You okay? You looked like you were about to lose it back there." I grabbed her forearm hoping she'd stop her stride so I could talk to her. She stops but not before staring at my grip on her arm. I felt a shiver run through me and my gaze dropped to the floor. That'd never happened before.

"I'm fine. I have rounds I need to go." Leah removed my arm before trying to continue her down the corridor.

I was compelled to stop her, I couldn't let her tend to a patient when it was evident that Callie had gotten under her skin, or that was what I told myself. I chase after Murphy once more this time side stepping and cutting her off altogether. "Hey Leah if you want to talk about what happened back there…."

"Don't I'm fine and I honestly don't know you. Besides by the way you two were flirting I seriously doubt you'd be unbiased about the situation." Leah stared me down daring me to lie.

"It seem to put a halt to the WWE match that nearly happened moments ago. As much as I would've loved to see that….. I'm sure you wouldn't have wanted to put on a show for the rest of GSMH." My smirk only deepened, this resident blatantly tried to call me out on my feelings for the doctor and strangely it was astounding and arousing at the same time.

"It doesn't matter. I let her pinch a nerve. It wont happen again. If you don't mind I do have follow ups that have to be done." Leah's eyes wonder around the corridor before back to me. I could see her slowly reeling in her temper to a suitable level, curiosity cruising her face for a mere moment.

I recover from my temporary bout of shock and I step a bit closer to the blonde. To an outsider it may have seemed like one colleague offering comfort to another but I didn't miss the intake of breathe from Leah as I invaded her bubble. Her marvelously blue eyes glimmering a bit at the invasion of privacy. "Well the offer still stands if you ever want to talk about anything. I'm all ears." Staring into her memorizing eyes, I wanted to offer this ridiculously beautiful woman so much more but I was well aware of my surroundings and the hospital's staff ability to spread rumors like wild fire.

"Thanks for checking on me. Your not so bad Dr. Harper." With that she flashes me a small smile before continuing off to her patients.

* * *

><p>I stood there frozen in the hall. What the hell was going on with me. I really needed to get a hold on my hormones. I had to admit it'd been awhile since I'd participated in a night of passion. Thinking back LeAnn and I hadn't been intimate in month's before I left. I always tended to find my way around it and it was part of the reason our relationship had started to decline. But all those months ago after what had happened, after what he had done to me I had felt disgusted with myself. Looking into a mirror was difficult and I couldn't even think about being physical with anyone. But now being here in Seattle I was beginning to feel more like myself and my insatiable sex drive was returning in full force. I didn't know how many more nights I could come home to an empty bed.<p>

Don't get me wrong I knew my body better then anyone else, and whenever my urges would get too strong I wasn't against stepping in my office and getting off for that much needed release. But I missed the feel of another human beings body against mine. I missed the rush of arousal from a slight touch or of a withering body under mines. Hell I missed sex period.

Spotting Cristina at the nurses station filling out charts I march over determine and convinced I'd be getting laid tonight. "Hey Yang! Your going to Joe's with me tonight. First rounds on me and there's lots of tequila involved. Please say yes…."

Cristina continues pretending to be unaware of my presence. Handing off the chart to a nurse she then gives me her undivided attention. "Tempting. But can't tonight I'm hanging with Mer. Going to hash out our husband issues over booze until we pass out from exhaustion." She squints at me trying to read something. "Damn Eye's what gotten into you? You look like someone's just offered you a taste of candy and then buttoned up adjusted her skirt and sauntered out the door."

My flushed neck matched with the look in my eyes. "Eyes? What's that about? And if you most know its been awhile and working here isn't helping much."

"Yea Eye's. Not to sound cheesy but you can kind of get lost in those things. Endless pool of dreamy and you tend to look at people like your either undressing them or their the reason the sun shines. Kind of unnerving how you switch between the two so easily. Anyways too much eye candy huh? Had one to many encounters with the Latina? You should be careful with that one. Roller girl may work in Peds but she's hella territorial when it comes to the Callie." Cristina shrugs her shoulders gesturing for me to follow. "I could ask Mer if it's cool if you come. She seems to be smitten like the rest of them. I'm sure she wouldn't mind."

"Then it's settle we're going to Joe's. First round on me still stands. I need to release some uh uh tension. I'll pick you both up at nine, you'll see the incredible Allison in action." I grin evilly at Yang emphasizing my point as I head to Mr. Rover's room. Yang just shakes her head at me matching my grin.

"Oh and I just happen to appreciate Dr. Torres work. She truly is something to admire." I throw Cristina a wink as I step in the closing elevator doors. A chuckle following me.


	6. Hook! Line! And Sinker!

Hey guys! I know there are a lot of questions about what exactly is going on with Allison. She seems a little all over the place emotionally at the moment, but answers will be given soon. Please be patient. Until then here's the next chapter.

* * *

><p>The sounds of hearty laughter echoed down the hall through room 510. Allison's smile widened at hearing the genuine enjoyment of Dr. Torres. Something she could easily see herself getting use to. Reaching the doorway but not entering she observed the easy contentment of Callie and Mr. Rover. Adam was an older gentlemen in his late sixty's. He had a round face the suited well with is frame and hazel eyes that could get the truth simply by looking at someone. By his built you could tell Mr. Rover was once a man who knew the importance of good eating habits and physical activity; his head full of gray hair contradicted most men around his age and his dimples were evident with just a crinkle of his nose. Mr. Rover had been devilishly handsome in his younger years and even his masculine but soft features remained the same. He knew this which is why he shamelessly flirted with all the nurses and doctors who would check in on him, but it was neither brash nor perplexing. Adam was a gentle soul who just showed his constant appreciation for women and always in good company.<p>

"Adam you wouldn't be giving Dr. Torres a hard time now would you?"

Both parties smiles gleamed at the unexpected intrusion. Callie's twinkling just a bit more then Mr. Rover's

"Now Allison my dear you know I reserve my best tirades for you." Adam adjusted his pillows so he was now facing the other doctor, motioning for her to enter.

"Actually I was asking Callie to attend dinner with me. A thank you for her outstanding work and putting up with my foolishness for the past few weeks. And now that you're here I'd like the extend the invitation to you as well."

Allison almost missed Adam's invitation as she still had her eyes glued to Dr. Torres who was trying so adamantly to ignore Dr. Harper's gaze. Without looking away from Callie, Allison took the seat closest to Mr. Rover's bed side.

"Well that depends Adam, what did Callie say?"

Mr. Rover was a lot of things coming into his old age, but senile wasn't one. He knew that Allison was fond of Callie; a little more then colleagues who just respected each other's work ethic and skill should be. But he kept quiet about it merely for his entertainment and the fact that Dr. Torres didn't seem to mind the added attention.

"She hasn't said anything, I'm assuming she's prolonging answering me. At least until I'm discharged and she doesn't have to worry about the old geezer from room 510 harassing her any longer." Adam clutched his chest to emphasize how heart broken he was at the possibility that Callie was avoiding his question.

"Its one dinner Calliope. I'm sure you can appease Dr. Rover. I'd even be inclined to join you two. You know upon Mr. Rover's request." A small smirk played at my lips noticing Callie's small intake of air at my calling her by her actually name. I glance at Adam who's smile is just as mischievous as mines, staring directly at me as he shakes his head from side to side.

Callie finally looks up from her chart feeling both sets of eyes on her. Her mind was battling between giving in and realizing that it wouldn't just be Mr. Rover at this dinner and that could spell T-R-O-U-B-L-E for her. Sighing she places Mr. Rover's chart back in the holder at the foot of his bed and walks over to the door.

With her back still to us she stops before turning slowly and alternating her line of focus between the two awaiting faces. "As much as I would love to have dinner with the both of you I'm sorry I have to decline. Not only is it against hospital policy but I don't think my wife would like it very much. I'm sorry I really am. Maybe we can do lunch in the cafeteria your last day here Mr. Rover." Not waiting for a response Callie leaves shutting the door behind her.

The chuckle that pierced the room caused Allison to break her intent stare at Callie's leaving shadow. Looking back to Mr. Rover, his features were smug with knowing.

"So you're the new ophthalmologist everyone has been raving about. And by everyone I do mean one enthralled Dr. Torres."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Callie talked about me? The extremely talented, hot, but married Orthopedics goddess talks about me? I couldn't for the life of me figure out why. I mean of course I was sex on a stick as I overheard some of the nurses from plastics put it, but I had no idea I was even on Calliope's radar. I mean for weeks I'd been going out of my way to get her to notice me. Showing up for consults instead of sending my interns like half the doctors did here, even taking it as far as to stay past my shift on several occasions just to by pass her in the hall sparking up a brief but gratifying conversation. Everything about this woman was captivating and I honestly just wanted to get to know her. I would never try to break up her marriage but something told me even having her as a friend could be equally as satisfying. She saw past the grey eyes, bundles of curls, and almost perfect features to the Allison I rarely let me people see. For that reason alone I was drawn to her.

"She's been talking about me?" I peered at Mr. Rover his forehead crinkling a bit more as he smiled harder contemplating whether he wanted to elaborate on what apparently had been private discussions between him and Calliope.

"Not just Dr. Torres I'll just say your quiet the ice breaker around here at Grey Sloan Memorial. In less then a 24 hour period I've heard a total of 8 nurses, 5 doctors, and unimaginable amount of interns and residents mention one Allison Harper. You'd think you were a celebrity or something along those lines. I didn't know you were this popular Dr. Harper, frankly it's not hard to believe. Your ridiculously beautiful, blunt, and as of today I hear quiet the mediator."

Rolling my eyes I walk over to the edge of his bed picking up the chart Callie had discarded seconds ago. I wasn't being anal and overseeing her work, like I said Calliope was an exceptional doctor. This was more so for show, or to hide the darkening blush from Adam's all to kind words about me. "I wouldn't say mediator I just happen to be in the right place at the right time. And unlike the other hoard of doctors and nurses who had gathered just to watch the showdown, I thought it was better to end it. Especially a disagreement over something as petty as charts." Sitting the chart back in its place I glanced back at the door to make sure no ears were lurking. "Between me and you has Callie mentioned anything about a resident? Leah Murphy? Blonde hair, blue eyes, a bit temperamental from what I can see. Ring any bells?"

Adam leaned back further in thought, mentally replaying all the conversations he'd had with Dr. Torres. They discussed a lot her case load, her family, even her certain interest in Allison. But never had she mentioned a Dr. Murphy and trust him, Adam would've remembered. "No I don't believe so. I don't even recall her myself."

This sounded funny to Allison seeing as Murphy had to have been on Callie's service for her to cause such a debacle about a simple chart this morning. Which confused Allison because Mr. Rover had never even remembered meeting her and Leah Murphy wasn't easily forgotten.

Peering at the time it was half past three and I realized I had a little under two hours before her shift was done for the day. I'd been in thought for quiet a while and the light snores flowing from Mr. Rovers bed indicated he'd fallen into slumber during her deep in thought session. Adjusting the covers so they now lay over the older man shoulders I gently close his door not to wake him as I existed.

* * *

><p>I head to my office deciding I'd get a start on the mounds of paperwork I had waiting for me. My department was in need of a serious make over. I hadn't been lying when I told Chief Hunt that Grey Sloan Memorial had place my department on the back burner to other departments. We were understaffed and needed funding and at the moment the only doctors who specialized in my field was myself and Dr. Nabil Rouch. I understood being the only doctor to run your day to day schedule and budgeting in your field; I'd managed my own practice in Boston for two years, but it was more then evident Dr. Rouch simple didn't care by the display of a piss poor job.<p>

Reaching my office I nod my head in acknowledge to some of my comrades on my floor. Which was scarce if not vacant compared to the bustling flow of the other departments; something I planned to changed immediately. Unlocking my door I ran my hands through my curls and set to work. I began by reviewing all of my staff's bio's since joining GSMH, after all they seemed to know so much about me.

As of right now Dr. Rouch and myself along with two ophthalmic nurses and three orthoptists man-handled our ophthalmologist department. Our usual workload consist of roughly thirty patients a day which most were day care cases; leaving around four or five suffering from severe ocular diseases as our inpatients. The few in numbers allowed me to spend more time with my patients individually and ease any concerns and questions they have as well as managing their eye condition timely. My staff hasn't quite grasp the concept of how essential is it to establish a team-based connection with their colleagues or how to utilize each others skills; resulting in me taking it upon myself to maintain the care of the handful of inpatients currently on my floor. Don't get me wrong their not all incompetent and Dr. Rouch has exceptionally hand-eye coordination something that's deathly needed in this line of work; ( I don't find it surprising seeing as his sub-specialty is Neuro-Ophthalmology ) but their lack of communication and empathy when it comes to our patients has slowly drug this department into the ground.

To let you guys in on a little secret ophthalmology was never my dream. My dream were children, I'd always adored them. They were fighters through and through and there was something about that to admire. I had every intention of becoming one of the worlds most renowned pediatric surgeons, but I soon realized I could never stomach my losses. See I chose ophthalmology because nearly all my patients would walk out of my doors healthy and alive. I took great satisfaction personally and professionally that my field had a high symptom control and cure rate compared to other specialties. However my love for children did not waver and my sub-specialty allowed me to have both without the added heart break. Pediatric Ophthalmology allowed me to assuage my fondness for children and not have to deal with all the messy aspects of them; dealing with the occasional case of strabismus or amblyopic would hardly send me home in tears at night.

Time fly's and before I know it 6:00 pm has rolled around and I'd managed to get through all my paperwork. My hand has a slight cramp from being glued to a pen for the last two hours and the migraine I'm trying to desperately fight has an agenda of its own. Getting up I stretch my arms outward flexing my biceps to work out my kinks. My thoughts ventured to my night or better yet how it would be ending. Hopefully I'd be in bed wrapped in thrones of passionate sex with a beautiful woman before sneaking out at dawn only to go home and replay how well my night gone. My nerves were a mixture of anticipation and trepidation tonight would end my 4 month, 2 week, and 1 day hiatus of no sex. This was big for me and I was secretly praying that none of my past issues would rear their ugly heads hindering my plans for something meaningless and fulfilling. That in my need to feel normal and become the person I once was caused doubt that I wasn't taking the proper amount of time to work through my demons.

Packing up my bag I glance around my office making sure everything was in order before I grabbed my keys and locked up. I wasn't going to let anything second guess my picture of a carefree night, I was going to hold my head high and do what any other single doctor who had worked a full work week and needed to release some tension would do. Fishing my phone from my bag I shoot Dr. Yang a text reminding her of our evening, her number I'd managed to swipe when I'd been looking through the hospitals employee database. Something I clearly had no authorization to, but my brother had kept the same password for everything since middle school so it wasn't hard gaining access through him. Avoiding everyone I existed GSMH with no intentions to return for the next 3 days. The old Allison was in effect and hell bent on taking charge.

* * *

><p>"You clean up rather nicely if I must say so myself Dr. Harper. You look hot!" Cristina was four shots in and this had been her second time tonight not so subtly telling Allison she'd made a great choice in what to wear for the night. Meredith giggled and nodded in agreement.<p>

Allison was sporting a black little number snug to the body that stopped mid thigh showcasing her toned caramel legs. The dress was strapless and the back was open displaying a small set of wing tattoos on each shoulder blade that she'd gotten in her rebellion years of college. Her makeup was light the only obvious clue were the darkened marks of perfectly aligned eye liner. Her mountain of curls were semi straightened and pinned up in different variations hanging down at the apex of her neck. Allison had gotten dressed for a purpose tonight and her goal had been accomplished when she felt about twenty pairs of eyes on her as soon she entered Joe's. She had to admit she was a bit over dressed for the occasion, but if anyone could pull it off she was definitely a top contender.

"You don't look too bad yourself." I threw Cristina a wink and headed to the bar to get more shots.

Like I had predicted Joe's was rather busy on a Friday night. Most were doctors who hadn't even managed to change after their shift just bee-lining it next door to celebrate a successful day of surgery or a 2 day weekend. The atmosphere was relax and laughter dispersed from different sections in the bar while drinks flowed freely. Scanning the bar I recognized the bartender from the other night remembering me as well he by passed a group of rather boisterous gentlemen and planted right in front of me.

"I remember you. Wow… you look wow" His eyes trailed up and down my body before returning back to my eyes then lingering back down.

" Hey I'm up here cowboy!" I tap the counter while pointing at my eyes with my other hand. "The table in the corner over there are in serious need of some more shots. My ladies are getting restless make it quick and I see a healthy tip in your future." I flash him my best flirtatious smile before walking back to my table which now included Miranda Bailey along with the two twisted sister's. I was slowly beginning to understand their nickname and how they warranted it.

"Miranda, how are you?" I flashed Bailey the same smile that seemed to be plastered on my face all night.

Miranda eyed Meredith who was blowing bubbles in her drink while a memorized Cristina watched. "I'm fine Allison. You look lovely this evening. Is there an occasion?"

Before I could answer Miranda, Cristina abruptly jumped in her seat pointing to the entrance of the bar. "Her! Her! What about her? She definitely looks like your type Harper!" Meredith nodded in agreement while continuing with her bubble tangent.

I'd made the mistake and let it slip about my nonexistent sex life and Cristina had made it her sole purpose of tonight to find someone suitable or as she said "equally hot" as one Dr. Harper. Cristina had been at it for an hour.

I followed their gazes landing on a petite woman no taller then 5'5. She had auburn hair that fell in waves and flawlessly golden skin. No literally her skin shimmered like she'd bathed in golden flecks routinely. Her eyes were a shade of brown with slight coloring of hazel, full lips that I could easily see myself getting really acquainted with; and ample curves that could cause God himself to double take. She was a natural beauty not a flaw in sight and currently she was beeping uncontrollably loud on my radar.

Miranda moved her line of vision to the entrance and back to me swirling her straw in what I could only see was a blue concoction that'd magically appeared, she surveyed me and then turned back to the woman in question. "I could see that happening." The table got deathly still before the two twisted sisters toppled in their chairs as they cracked-up at Bailey's comment.

"How many of those have you had Bailey?" Cristina tried taking Miranda's drink but failed miserably as she easily maneuvered away from the intoxicated woman.

An arm carrying a tray with at least eight various shots reached over me placing it directly in my passage way on the table. "On the house." He placed his hand strategically on my side ghosting his fingers along the seam of my dress leaning in far too close; the breathe of a whisper tickled my ear and it took everything in my sobriety not to elbow the young man in the nuts for invading my bubble.

I turn to see the same bartender I'd spoken with and grabbed his collar tightly, choking he nearly fell face first into the table or was almost thrown depending on how you wanted to look at it. "I do thank you for your timely and speedy manner but if you do not remove your hand from my waist I'm sorry to say you will be walking away with not only broken shot glasses but a broken nose as well." I release my hold on the young man rather roughly and slip a fifty in his breast pocket before patting it for good measure. "Keep the change." The bartender walked away rubbing his neck and giving me a death glare that would've scared anyone shitless, but I'd seen worse.

Looking at my companions for the evening each of their faces shared amusement to the scene that'd just unfolded. "So asking for a dance is completely off limits?" Meredith joked while a grin still played at her lips.

Ignoring the intrigued stares of the three women I downed two shots and excused myself to find the woman Yang had mentioned earlier. She'd moved her way along the farther end of the bar nearest the exist. She was playing with the napkin in her hand while trying to ignore the gentlemen that'd approached her minutes before I did. Sliding into the seat next to her I place my arm on the back of her chair not too forward on my part.

"Sweetheart there you are. I'm so sorry surgery ran a little late and I wanted to change before I got here. I couldn't very well celebrate our anniversary still in scrubs and live to tell the tale." I give her my best go with it smile, her eyes traveling from my feet up to my face, a lot less creepier then when the bartender did it.

Sighing heavily she leaned further into my embrace placing a light kiss on the corner of my mouth, grabbing the hand I had resting on the bar and intertwining her fingers with mines. "Its ok honey. This nice gentlemen here was just keeping me entertained until you arrived." Pivoting she nods towards the well dressed blonde male to the right of her. He looked at a loss of words as his gaze altered from me to her.

"You two are together? Like together together? You can't be serious, this is a joke right?" He motioned between the two of us. He face contorted into skepticism while his eyes searched from clues of this being some type of trick. It was pretty evident while this man exuded class and wealth he was a bit on the slow side.

I came over here with a purpose and that was strictly bedding this woman by the end of the night. So why not kill two birds with one stone, embarrass the hell out of this pompous asshole and make sure that this absolutely delectable woman would be leaving with me.

I'd had a few shots and by the way this woman was clinging to me I knew she wouldn't object to my next course of action. Sliding my free hand around her waist I pulled her back to my front my lips lightly grazing her jaw line. "Well babe what exactly would convince this man that we are together together?" I peek at the man through my peripheral who still has the same dumbfounded look as before. My lips trace the outer shell of her ear before I continue. "Would it be the fact that I just told him we were celebrating our anniversary?" With the hand I have on her waist I massage my way up her spine before moving to the curve of her hip and applying pressure simultaneously to my teeth nipping at her pulse point. The small gasp that followed didn't escape my ears and I smirked into her neck I'd won this before it was even over. "Or could it be the fact that sometime tonight you'll be screaming my name while I'm tongue deep in places he'll go home dreaming about." Scraping of his chair and cursed murmurs were all he left behind as he ran away from his now vacant seat. Two points for you Allison, I was on a roll tonight and the fun hadn't officially started.

The vibration of a chuckle pushed against my lips as I kept peppering kissing along her neck. "You know as much as I'm enjoying your hands on me he's gone now and I think we may have an audience." Lifting my head I look straight ahead to my friends I had forgotten about. Only I was met with two more set of eyes one belonging to a intrigued Dr. Robbins and her wife. I smiled at our on lookers and removed myself from the warmth of the woman in front of me. Walking around to were we were now face to face I was finally able to see exactly how breathe-taking she was. Still holding hands I placed a gentle kiss to her temple saying my goodbyes as I walked back over to my table.

"Calliope! Arizona." Arizona didn't notice the difference in how I greeted the two or just decided to ignore it as she smiled and returned her attention back to her drink.

"What the hell was all that Harper? Seemed you two were getting quite cozy there for a moment." Cristina's smirk equaled mine as she let me know she saw every bit of the show.

"Poor guy he seemed pretty pissed when he walked off what did you say to him?" Miranda's gaze was still following the jerk from my encounter as he downed two scotch's on ice no hesitation.

Adjusting my seat to were I was sitting across from Callie and beside Meredith I shrugged my shoulders. "He wouldn't take no for answer so we just chatted a bit is all."

"What about your mystery woman? She hasn't stopped looking over here since you left her at the bar." Cristina seemed to be more enthralled by the situation then me as she looked behind me eagerly.

I knew exactly what was going to happen I just had to play my cards right and time everything perfectly and things would fall into place. Sitting up I grabbed Yang's drink from her right before she was able to drink from it and took two huge gulps making sure to place my lips exactly where hers had been on the glass.

"Hey that's mines! Get your own or better yet get the woman who's catching flies with her mouth over there to buy you one." She snatched her drink back and swats at me away playfully.

I just grin at Cristina's drunkenness moving my eyes to Callie who is staring at her drink refusing to look at me and rather quite. "No worries Yang. She'll be walking over here in about 4.…3.…2..."

"Excuse me I hate to interrupt but I didn't catch your name earlier." The woman was a few inches behind me, I could still feel the warmth from our interaction radiating from her.

Coughing up a bit Yang looked shocked and open mouthed at me. "Geez Eyes you didn't even get her name?…Oww!" The yelp that followed told me Meredith beat me to the punch no pun intended.

Circling around to face her I stick my hand out a formal greeting compared to the one minutes ago. "Allison. And these are my friends Miranda, Meredith, Cristina, Arizona, and Calliope." I could hear mumbles of greetings behind me while Callie said nothing but bore holes in the back of my head. I'd recognize her stare any where.

Her head nodded dismissively without removing her eyes or hand from mines. "Well Allison if I do recall correctly you promised to be spending the rest of the evening with me. In not so many words."

Hook! Line! And Sinker! "I did….." My smile was genuine and a bit naughty. I had every intention of finding out precisely what this woman recalled me saying to her in not so many words. "If you give me a moment to say goodbye to my friends I will meet you at the bar." I watched her sway back to the bar obviously putting on a show for me to see.

Swinging back around to the table I reached in my purse pulled out a hundred and placed it on the now empty tray. "Drinks on me ladies. Enjoy your night. I know I definitely will." My smile beamed but faltered a bit when it landed on Callie who was not smiling at me at all. Callie's expression was blank and I had no idea if I was reading a hint of jealousy or small irritation from her features. I signaled over to Arizona silently letting Callie know now wasn't to time and walked off and out of the bar clutching to the woman who would be consuming my thoughts for the next couple of hours.


	7. Friends?

I'm back guys I'm sorry my updates are few I've just been really busy. But here goes nothing. Enjoy and review please!

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><p>Entering GSM the pep in my step was more then evident. To say I had a good night would be an understatement. Giselle the beautiful woman I'd taken home with me deemed far more entertaining than I'd imagined. After leaving the bar we'd ventured to her place for drinks and talked about some of our favorite past times. Nearly three bottles of wine in, our clothes were strewn everywhere from her kitchen to her bedroom and the rest I can assume is well self-explanatory. I hadn't gotten much sleep but there is something to be said about great sex rejuvenating you. Scratch that amazing sex; well into the wee hours of the morning if I must say! My smile was brighter then it had been in months and the infamous glow of after sex radiated from my skin. I was finally getting the old Allison back, and I couldn't be happier.<p>

Standing at the elevator I'm searching vigorously through my purse for keys, hoping I hadn't left them at Giselle's house last night. I hadn't had a chance to make it home and my slightly wrinkled dress from the night before screamed walk of shame. Or in my case walk of awesome.

"Hey Dr. Harper. Wait a moment please."

I turn to see Dr. Torres talking with one of her interns scowling and trying hurriedly to dismiss them. She looked beautiful as always and I noted how well she made the dark blue scrubs look. The woman could turn anything into a sexy fashion statement, something I'm sure she was aware of. Jogging the short distance to me her eyes scan my apparel thoroughly before landing on mines. A smirk dawning my features as I saw curiosity flash on hers.

"Good Morning Calliope." My smile naturally widened in her presence. Something I knew I'd have to try better to mask. Waiting on her response the elevator dings letting me know its awaiting. Without a word both Torres and I step into the doors simultaneously.

"Morning to you too. Dr. Harper." The silence only lasted a few minutes while Callie studies the poster on the wall. I just stare at her knowing she wants to say something but not entirely sure how to start. Clearing my throat I smell the familiar scent of honey and vanilla, Callie's shampoo and perfume invading my senses.

"I assume your night went as planned Allison." She finally turns her attention to me taking in my wardrobe lifting an sculpted eyebrow for confirmation.

Smiling I know I shouldn't revel in it but her ploy to avoid jealousy is refreshing and appealing. I knew my leaving last night had bothered Callie. If her stark cold demeanor towards Giselle didn't give her away; her avoidance of me all night did. "I had a lovely night Calliope." My tone was light and amused as I watched her roll her eyes.

"So that woman last night I assume you spent the rest of your evening together or shall I say morning?" Wringing her hands nervously she finally looks at me waiting to hear for herself the answer we both knew was coming.

"Hmmm well Dr. Torres I never kiss and tell. Not my thing at all, but I did enjoy getting to know her if that's what your asking. She a very intelligent and adventurous woman….. Now if you'd like I'm going to cut right through pleasantries and ask why so intrigued Calliope?" I was done with beating around the bush. Obviously my extracurricular activities for the night bothered Callie. But my main concern was why? How was I suppose to react to this. This very married woman was sending off some not so married vibes and I was completely baffled on how we'd gotten to this point. We barely spoke although I tended to flirt shamelessly; and whenever we did she made it a point to make sure it was brief yet everything said was sure to have a second meaning behind it. I couldn't continue this game especially if I wanted to keep my head clear at GSM. I refused to put myself or anyone I cared about in a compromising situation. I wouldn't let that happen to me again, it'd nearly destroyed me the first time.

"I'm just- You seem like….." Callie fumbled with her words not sure how to respond. She continued wringing her hands avoiding looking at me directly, something she tended to do when she was nervous. Her brown locks framed her face perfectly; her lips pursed in quiet thought as she tried to gather the courage for words and it took everything in me not to succumb to my will and kiss her. God she was beautiful. "I don't know. Just you move fast. You haven't even been here for a month and you already have half the hospital wrapped around everything Allison. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued, you make me want to know more. But you're a lot to take in and I just don't know what to make of you….I want to know you, I want something to make of you…..I-"

My eyes were locked on her lips and if I hadn't learned to read lips when I was twelve via my parents hushed whispers and arguments of an unhappy marriage I wouldn't have caught on; but I did and I had a profound feeling she wasn't done. Stealing myself further against the wall my posture stiffens for what I know is coming. I can't let her finish this obvious declaration. I won't let her shatter our bubble. I was completely accepting of the fact nothing would come of Callie and I except a possible friendship and that in it self was wishful thinking. She loved her wife, as hard as it may be to see that right now. I wasn't worth it and neither was her marriage.

What was suppose to be a 5 minute ride to my floor felt like eternity as silence consumed the enclosed elevator. Inhaling deeply I sit my bag on the floor gathering Callie's hands in mines and stepping far too close into her space. At our connection my hands immediately start to tingle which course through my body like a bad hit all the way to my core. Suddenly the sated sexually induced feeling from last night turned into a raging skin tingling hunger. It was completely unexpected and I found my grip tightening just to stay upright from the rush. This woman definitely knew how to invoke a physical reaction out of me and I almost lost my nerve to do the right thing. I mentally start praying the elevator doesn't decide to stop its descend and open its doors to our intimate proximity, the last thing I needed was rumors about the Ortho goddess Dr. Torres and infatuating Dr. Harper getting it on in the elevator. That'd be defeating the purpose of my forthcoming statement. "Look Calliope, I like you. More then I should. Its just that simple. Your so beautiful, ridiculously astute, loyal, boldly hilarious, and too damn trusting. So that leads me to believe that this isn't you. This woman about to admit to feelings in an elevator for someone that's not her wife isn't you. So let me save you the trouble and heartbreak. We can't do this. Sure we could potentially be amazing. There is something here between us, I can easily see losing myself in you and vice versa. But I'm not someone who does forever, and your obviously someone who does. I'm not worth it and in the end I will hurt you. What you and Arizona have although it may be dormant at the moment its something special. You just need to find your way back, and I can help you with that. I want to help you as your friend if nothing else. So that's what I'd like this with us to be a great friendship. Okay?"

Callie's exterior softened as she absorbed my words and all their truths. She knew this was the right thing to do before this blew up and out of our control. Yet a sparkle of uncertainty shadowed her brows, clearly trying to decipher how much the closeness of our body's effected her as well. She doesn't say a word before stepping away and I don't expect her to. Turning to face the elevator as it dings open I reach for my bag and adjust my dress once more, knowing the stares I'd be getting were inevitable and would likely start an onslaught of questioning glances from my colleagues. Thank God I always kept spare clothes in my office.

"Thank you. I could really use that, you know. A friend….." I circle back around to catch Callie's genuine smile thrown to me, her face flushed slightly and soft lips the perfect shade of pink. Reciprocating out of habit I grin knowing I probably look like a damn fool, if I didn't get to my office soon I'd literally be swallowing my words as I captured Callie in a world spinning kiss sure to make both of us buckle to our knees.

Holding the elevator doors I briefly run my hand down her biceps and nearly cave once again; touching would definitely have to be at a minimal if not at all. Her smile expanding even more if that was possible. "For the record this isn't rejection Calliope. Just bad timing." The doors close and I rush to my office determined to make this friendship with Calliope work. I knew I had to at least try, I needed to retreat to my quiet corner and brace myself for one of the hardest things I'd ever have to do.

Finally reaching my office I quickly slip in leaning against the door to gather my breathe and my hormones. What the hell was I going through? I snickered a bit remembering I'd asked myself the same exact question after my encounter with a Leah Murphy. I couldn't be that strung out right? I'd went through a cataclysmic event in my life not even 5 months ago, and I was now feeling like I went through estrogen withdrawals instead. I mean sure I'd sustained from sex for quiet some time, well in all honesty 4 months isn't long but for someone who at one point and time couldn't go a few days without that release it was hard. Of course during those 4 months I'd lost all urges to be intimate, but it seemed my libido was making up for it now.


End file.
